David has a love-hate relationship with Facebook status updates.
David should explain to non-Facebookers that the social media platform urges users to type in a few lines explaining what they’re currently doing, thinking, planning, working on, etc. The most recent three or four status updates from your friends show up whenever you log on, like brief headlines from their lives.
David updates his status a little too often.
David thinks his favorite status update came from Alyson Smith, who recently married Jon “JK” Klaczkiewicz, and wondered, via Facebook status update, whether JK might be willing to go by JS in the future.
David thinks he may be no closer to marriage than he was when he was in high school, which sometimes keeps him up at night.
David is a little alarmed when he goes fishing for Facebook friends, types in his high school and his graduating year, and finds 18 people out of a class of 800, none of whom he recognizes.
David is also alarmed at how many Facebook friends some people have. But all the people that have more than 300 friends have graduated college within the last 5 – 10 years, and that’s a much more web-savvy demographic than his.
David thinks it may not be healthy to disavow one’s own age demographic.
David has considered writing a novel in Facebook status updates, but thinks such a novel may be a little too self-referential.
David occasionally sends secret messages via Facebook status update, then is usually chagrined at the pathetic obviousness of what he’s done and goes back and changes it about five minutes later.
David got what he wanted, too.
David wishes he could write like David James Duncan, take pictures like David Alan Harvey, play music like Dave Matthews, climb like David Graham, and make movies like David Breashears.
David sometimes wishes his parents gave him a more exotic name than David, like Salvador.
David smiled when Kate B. answered his phone call today with a mellifluous “Hola, Salvador.”
David’s dog Pepi is four years old tomorrow.
David’s dog Pepi recently rolled in something dead.
David’s car now smells like death.
David may prefer the smell of death to the smell of wet dog.
David wonders how popular Facebook would be if it went by its more proper name: Navel Gazer’s Gazette.
David has to get away from this freaking computer, RIGHT NOW.
David is going to check Facebook one more time before he goes, real quick.
cara is wondering how someone can know what she’s been thinking. oh, duh….
You funny…..
i just read your post 1 minute ago…
Marit is laughing at David. And nodding her head in agreement about the pathetic obviousness of bygone (but still visible) status updates. And wondering if the last name would change if the first name became Salvador. And thinking that if not, bullfighting might be an appropriate and obvious avocation. Or maybe Latin jazz.